Were you ever disappointed that the only Thanksgiving song was "Over The River And Through The Wood" (which, as it turns out, was originally a Christmas song)? Well, what holiday would be complete without parody holiday carols? I don't think any holiday would, except maybe Veterans' Day. So in the essence and spirit of Bondco's "Arbor Day Carols", Birdco presents "Turkey Day Carols"!!! Grab the nearest person you want to annoy, and join in!

"I Saw A Ship" (I Saw Three Ships)

I saw a ship come sailing in
On Turkey Day, on Turkey Day
The "Mayflower" came sailing in
On Turkey Day in the morning.

And what was on that ship, not three,
OTD, OTD?
A bunch of Pilgrims drinking tea,
OTDITM.

And where did all those Pilgrims land,
OTD, OTD?
They stepped out there onto the sand,
OTDITM.

And who did they all see out there,
OTD, OTD?
Some Indians that stopped and stared,
OTDITM.

And which one did they get to know,
OTD, OTD?
The chief who called himself "Squanto",
OTDITM.

And who said, "Hey, let's all eat food!"
OTD, OTD?
Miles Standish said, " 'S'all good!"
OTDITM.

And what can we be thankful for,
OTD, OTD?
That they started the Macy's store,
OTDITM.

(NOTE: the historical accuracy of this carol is a little sketchy, as you might guess; some historians believe the ship was actually called the "Aprilshower", but the name was confused in translation.)

"The Turkey And The Stuffing" (The Holly And The Ivy)

The turkey and the stuffing, when both are fully cooked,
Of all the food that is on the plate, the turkey bears the sauce.
The cooking of the pumpkins, and the eating of the yams,
And funny people saying, "I yam what I yam".

(Well, that was short, thankfully. But who can forget this timeless carol?...)

"Minimum Wage" (by They Might Be Giants, arranged for Thanksgiving)

Thanksgiving Day! Hyah! (whip crack here)

(And what Thanksgiving Day Sing-A-Long would be complete without a rendition of this classic carol?)

"We Wish You A Tasty Turkey" (We Wish You A Merry Christmas)

We wish you a tasty turkey
We wish you a tasty turkey
We wish you a tasty turkey
And some great stuffing, too.

Good turkey we bring, to you and your kin
You'll have lots leftover and some great stuffing, too.

Now bring us some pumpkin pie
Now bring us some pumpkin pie
Now bring us some pumpkin pie
And some great stuffing, too.

We all love our sweet potatoes
We all love our sweet potatoes
We all love our sweet potatoes
I like potatoes (fooled you there, eh?!).

We won't go until we get some
We won't go until we get some
We won't go until we get some
So you're stuck with us here.

What do you mean you don't have sweet potatoes?
What do you mean you don't have sweet potatoes?
What do you mean you don't have sweet potatoes?
I'll sue you right now.

We all love the American legal system
We all love the American legal system
We all love the American legal system
And the President, too.

This song is getting way of track
This song is getting way of track
This song is getting way of track
But who really cares?

This writer is smoking crack
This writer is smoking crack
This writer is smoking crack
But who really cares?

Good cracksmoke we bring, to you and your kin
You'll have lots leftover as I play the cracksophone.

Now let's all commercialize the holiday
Now let's all commercialize the holiday
Now let's all commercialize the holiday
And call it "Turkey Day" instead of "Thanksgiving".

Now let's all overcommercialize Christmas and start advertising in stores before Labor Day
Now let's all overcommercialize Christmas and start advertising in stores before Labor Day
Now let's all overcommercialize Christmas and start advertising in stores before Labor Day
And max out our credit cards.

Good turkey we bring, to you and your kin
You'll have lots leftover and some great stuffing, too.

We wish you a tasty turkey
We wish you a tasty turkey
We wish you a tasty turkey
Don't you wish we'd shut up?

We won't stop singing till you kill us
We won't stop singing till you kill us
We won't stop singing till you kill us
With a sharp carving kni---- ackkkk *gasp*

(Sniff....... that song almost made me cry... mainly because I just realized how much of my life I just wasted writing that.) [NOTE: The author of this piece does not actually smoke crack, nor play the cracksophone. It's an inside joke. Cracksophone isn't even a word. Thank you.]

Arr... and that's the story of the first caramel cod... d'I mean Thanksgiving. And the Pilgrims and the Native Americans walked off into the sunset smelling country fresh. Happy Thanksgiving, and be on the edge(s) of your seat(s) for more Thanksgiving Day specials, like:

• The Grinch Who Stole Priscilla Mullins
• A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving II: Chuck's Grandmother Served Pretzels, Jelly Beans, Popcorn, And Toast For Dinner, And Peppermint Patty Was Quite Displeased
• Yes, Virginia, There Is A Macy's Parade
• Randolph, The Red-Beaked Turkey
• Frosty The Snow Goon Who Got His Holidays Mixed Up